M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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I have a gun.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Im gonna rape you..

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!