Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +162

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +69

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +59

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +150

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!