Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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I have a gun.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Im gonna rape you..

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!