- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Golf.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Hey girl! Faggot.

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book