my dick is 2 inches

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!