Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Get in the van.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Male: Get in the van.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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So when' the baby due?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!