wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Male: Get in the van.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!