Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +201

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So when' the baby due?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -62

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

EVERYONE ELSE

thumb_up thumb_down +45

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!