Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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So when' the baby due?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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EVERYONE ELSE

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!