Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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