- Anti-Pickup Line

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

why are you you touching me ????

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... everyone runs out screaming Batman: facepalm Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Gaywatch starts

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Yeah... you'll have to do.

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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