Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!