-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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I have a gun.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!