Gaywatch starts

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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nice kid... want another?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!