Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

EVERYONE ELSE

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

sound of zipper

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!