Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Soon

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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rohypnol. rape drug

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!