Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

nice kid... want another?

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Soon

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

-Do you like me? -No

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!