Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Male: Get in the van.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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sex me.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Im gonna rape you..

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!