Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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jack sanders

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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So when' the baby due?

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!