You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Yeah... you'll have to do.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

You look exactly like my sister.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!