If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!