I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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sex me.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Im gonna rape you..

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!