-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Golf.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!