Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!