Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +89

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +112

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -99

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +46

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +159

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +147

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!