- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

How much do you like peanut butter?

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

- You look really nice - I know

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book