Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!