"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +98

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +151

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey wanna smash pissers?

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Male: Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -63

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +214

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +54

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

sex me.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -75

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!