- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

-Do you like me? -No

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book