Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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- You look really nice - I know

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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greetings clarisse...

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Welcome to DIE!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!