Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

Hey can I have your number? No.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

i am with stupid l l l \/

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

Welcome to DIE!

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!