-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Hey can I have your number? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

thumb_up thumb_down +79

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

thumb_up thumb_down +152

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -120

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +79

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +174

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!