Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hello children! :D

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Male: Get in the van.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!