-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!