Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Are your prices by the hour

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

all in all it was a good orgy

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

Penis. I got it

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!