Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!