I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!