he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Man: Hello! Mishimush! This is a Mister Borat eh? I would like to make the sexy time with you now woman... Eh can I make the rape on you? I will not make much crushings on you if you do not bite okay? Girl: WOW! SURE! Man: Sigh... I... (takes of wig and mustachio) I am actually Sasha Baron Cohen and this is just a hidden camera scene for my movie an.. Girl: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU YOU UGLY BASTARD! GET LOST! Man: DAMN! But its me the same guy and I think I just fell in love with you an... Girl: GET OUT YOU PERVERT! 10 minutes later: Man: Hello there oh honey, this is da berlinen wassenflass Bhruno and I would like you to help me make me the hetrosexal man for das werbungen of my movie star eh? Girl: .( Sigh... I miss that Borat guy... Man: But its me! I am Both Borat and Bruno and... Girl: YOU AGAIN?! GET LOST ASSHOLE! Man: Damn... something just went very very wrong here did it not? Borat: Hello the mister Baron eh? Mishimush! I am the making movie of Crushings of America! And this is my very Manly Man Bruno! Bruno: Hello hot stuff! Cohens! Me and Borat would like to make the very manly thing with you in a threycantzen of tree peepols! Borat: EH YES! We make bang bang in the anoos together with man man and man so no gays make us they slaves! Director: Is something wrong Mr.Cohen? Man: Uh... I think I need to see a shrink for a while after this experience...

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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