Penis. I got it

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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-Get in the Van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!