- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

cockface

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book