How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Penis. I got it

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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