- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

your almost as hot as my wife

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... everyone runs out screaming Batman: facepalm Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book