- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

How much do you like peanut butter?

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

-I love you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book