"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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nice kid... want another?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!