Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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-Get in the Van

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!