Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!