- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

Five dollar women... WOO!

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! guitar solo begins

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book