Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!