- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Nice legs what time do they open

Five dollar women... WOO!

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book