Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!