Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!