And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Soon

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

-I love you.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

i am with stupid l l l \/

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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